ONAMI – A Tea-totallers Tale.

March 5, 2009

WestGate Mall is the pinnacle of Kenyan Architecture, Chique and Consumerism.

Therefore, it is not surprising to find some of the ‘creme – de-la- creme’ businesses positioning themselves in every nook and cranny of the mall.

One of these , is the newly opened, Onami.

Japanese restaurants have sprung up all over Nairobi, Sushi seems to be the Ugali of the upper crust and Onami seems to be vying to be one of the top restaurants in the country, but miserably falls flat on it’s face.

I walked in there last night with the wife, with no expectations and was pleasantly surprised by the decor and ambiance.  There were quite a few tables occupied –  busy for a Wednesday night.

I just wanted a quick nibble, nothing to heavy so I ordered sushi, the wife ordered some tea, beef and sushi.  One thing we noticed was there was a starters/main course menu and a wine list.  No drinks or dessert showed in any of their literature…

Food came – it was ok, nothing spectacular – quite a bit of rice vinegar in the sushi, and a miniscule helping of prawn in my ebi maki.  Desert, Chocolate Fondant, was the best thing we had there.

The shock came when I got the bill.

Everything else was ok, except that the tea cost Kshs 440(approx USD $ 5.5).  I consider that daylight robbery for hot water with a few leaves in it, so I called up the waitress and asked her what was up…. Her reply was ” I told you guys to share the tea…” Not sure what that meant, I told her that it didn’t justify the price of the tea and if she could explain why it cost that much.  I told her I don’t mind paying for it if the tea was rare, but we really couldn’t understand why it was costing that much.  Compared to everything else on the menu, the tea was almost the same  price  as of the steak, moreoever, there was nothing on the menu showing the cost..

The manager was called and he couldnt answer any of our questions.  He went an got the supervisor, a short bald  guy, to explain what the story behind the tea was… and all he said was he would look into it…. and walked away…. and hung around the place doing absolutely nothing.

Out came the camera and we started taking pictures of the tea and the receipt and he saw it happening.



This must have triggered some action from him cos he came up right away with a complimentary dessert and said he would look into the bill…. and did nothing…

For me, service in a place is the life and soul.  I could eat in a dingy restaurant and still enjoy the meal if the service was good.

In the end, I was tired of waiting and not in the mood to cause a scene.  I just paid the bill and walked out with a sour taste in my mouth(yeah the vinegar in the sushi was that strong.. ).

Anyway, just goes to show that more than one person has had a bad experience in this place. I really hope that the restaurant is served some Kenyan justice, and is avoided( like what happened to Blue Times and Cosmic etc) and the patronage can spend their monies in other (plenty of) well deserving restaurants around Nairobi.


MJLs guest spot movie review – wanted

July 5, 2008

a weaving loom that relays messages of our destiny, rat bombs, and insults directed at the audience. wanted was absolutely laughable. so much so i cant even bring myself to write this review. haha. lord have mercy that was absurd.

for now,




June 16, 2008

I have written the following letter to the GM of Sharaf DG for horrendously incompetent customer service:

Mr. Juzar,

I may have made the biggest mistake in purchasing electronics from your store, Sharaf DG, located in Times Square.

It is surprising and disappointing to see a store with a substantial investment in location, partnerships and marketing failing miserably the after sales aspect and consequently in retaining customers. After my experiences at your store, you have certainly lost my business as well as the business of my family members and friends.

Please find below a list of my experience at your store, which will definitely be replicated in local newspapers to warn other people who value customer support and after-sales support as highly as I do against shopping at your establishment(s).  I will also be taking this up with the Better Business Bureau in hope that things improve for other people who have the misfortune of dealing with customer service at your store.

In early March, I purchased two items from your store in Times Square, needless to say, this is the first and the last time I will be spending my hard-earned money at your store.

The first of these items was a Body Glove Laptop Bag and the other was a Fuji Finepix Digital Camera, Model s8000.

Within one month of use, the Body Glove Bag broke at the handle and when I brought it in for replacement, I was told that it was my fault and that Sharaf DG could not do anything to help me out.  This itself was a surprise to me, but I took the blame that was pointed at me by your customer service without complaint.

I should have taken this as a precursor of the nightmare that is known as customer service at your business, but I was to find out this bitter truth one week later when my camera stopped working.

I was admittedly shocked when this happened as I had barely used the equipment.

I brought the camera in on April 15. Repair Receipt .  Customer support informed me that the camera would be fixed within two weeks maximum subject of part availability.

I called back two weeks later and was told that there had been a part malfunction and a replacement part had been ordered by the manufacturer.

I called four weeks since the date that I had given my camera in, and was again told to wait as the parts were still not in the country.  On both occasions, I kindly asked the gentleman Mr. Vinay to follow up with the manufacturer as I had barely used the camera and was looking forward to using it.

Both times he had promised to follow up and call me back the next day with an update. On both times, looking back now, not surprisingly, there was no follow-up word from him.

I waited for updates until 6 weeks from the date of my bringing the camera in and decided to follow up again.  This time I desperately needed the camera as I was going away on a business trip and decided to write in to your customer support.

Please find the email below dated June 2nd.

“To whom it may concern,

My camera has been under repair since April 15th 2008 with you at your Times Square.

I am leaving the country on June 4th 2008 for a business trip in which I will be needing the camera.  I have been chasing up after this for the last 3 weeks and your repairs department has been terrible with following my case up.

I would like my camera back, FULLY REPAIRED by TOMORROW JUNE 3rd.

If you cannot commit to that, then I would like a new camera from your store, as the camera I have returned for repair was not even used more than twice before breaking down.  I purchased this camera in Feb 2008 from your store.

I have already been inconvenienced by not having a camera in the interim period, and should I not have a camera for my upcoming trip, I will be very upset.

I look forward, for at least this time, some sort of action on your part, although looking at the dismal service in the past, I’m not holding my breath for that.

This is not the first time I am having trouble with your products.  You had best believe that this is the last time I am purchasing anything from your stores.”

I got a call following this email on June 2nd from Mr. Rajiv saying that he had talked to the Manufacturer and he would be getting the camera for me by the end of the week June 6th.  I explained to him that this would not be acceptable as I was leaving the country on June 4th.  He told me that the part was still not in the country.  I told him that this is not at all acceptable and he told me that he could do nothing to help me.

I was obviously very upset at this time and conveyed to him that I would definitely be taking this up to top management in the company.  He then told me that he would follow up and see what he could do.

Later that day he called me and told me that the manufacturer would have my camera repaired by June 3rd (funny how the missing part manifested out of nowhere) and I could come and pick it up by 4 pm.

I called back on June 3rd at 4 pm to confirm that my camera was available and was told that no one could pick my camera from the manufacturer and it I could make it to Deira to pick up the camera myself!

I was appalled by this behaviour and demanded to speak to Rajiv’s boss and was put on the phone with a Mr. Ranjeet. Ranjeet explained to me that they had not had a chance to pick up my camera, which was ready, from the manufacturer as the driver was busy doing other chores.  The manufacturer would be closing at 5 and there was nothing they could do to help.  I explained the full story to him and mentioned how long I had been waiting for my camera and had a very heated argument with him.  He told me that the camera was in fact ready and were it not for my early morning flight the next day I would have it in my hands.

After determining that there was nothing they could do to help me, they finally agreed to give to me a new camera as a temporary replacement to the one I had given in.

I could go into how this cheap replacement camera would not be a match for the one I had purchased earlier, but that is a different story.

Upon my return from my trip this week on June 12th, I called Rajiv up to speak with him again.

He told me that my camera, which I was told earlier was fixed, was still under repair!!!!  I was obviously shocked at this and asked him how this was happening. He told me that since they had given me a replacement camera, no one had actually followed up with fixing the original camera.  I was VERY VERY UPSET. Before I left I was told that my camera was fixed. Now I was told not only was my camera still under repair, I would have to wait some more time to fix it.  I gave Rajiv an ultimatum to have my camera ready by Sunday June 15th. He promised, as usual, to have it ready by then.

Today when I called back, I was told by Vinay, who I spoke to, that Rajiv was on vacation for a week and when I asked to speak to the customer service manager, I was put on hold for ten minutes after which the phone was hung up on me.

I called back and asked to speak to the store manager Mr Sanjay and was told that he is not around.  The lady took my number and told me that he would call me back.  As I write this to you, I am still waiting to hear from him.  Employees mirror their management, and frankly, looking at Sharaf DG employee behaviour, I wouldn’t expect a call from Mr. Sanjay either.

Needless to say, if you have had the patience to read the entire debacle, you may see my frustration in the whole matter.  Your customer service has lied to me more than once. They have been incompetent in following up the matter without prompting from me. Literally, I have spent more time chasing up with your customer service than actually using the camera I purshased. I feel really shocked and appalled by the behavior of your company employees. I am sure that I am one of many casualties of your customer support and when I release this to the media, I am certain more worms will crawl out of the woodwork.

It is your saving grace that the company is running in the Middle East.  This kind of service would have drummed you out of business in the western world not only through the Better Business Bureau but also through countless lawsuits, no thanks to your customer support team.

I have to say that without a doubt, that this has been one of the worst experiences in my life with any kind of after sales customer support.  I am sure you that your experience, Mr. Juzer, comes from understanding that repeat business is what drives retail and can appreciate the gravity of this matter.  The number of times I have been to your stores in chasing up after your customer service department have shown me exactly how many OTHER people are in the very same predicament with your company. I am certain that given the right forum they would reveal their horror stories as well. It would be worth your while to look into the operation of the customer service department and sort out their issues.

Mr. Juzar, I am hoping that you can fix the matter through your intervention, but honestly after what I have been through, I am not putting my money on anything positive from Sharaf DG.

I am not one to complain, and honestly, this is the first case that I am forced into writing such emails, but things have really come to a head. I will be submitting my complaints to local media and blogging it over the internet.

Should you wish to discuss this, you are welcome to reach me by phone or by email.


MJLs guest spot movie review – the happening

June 16, 2008

i was with m night all the way up to the lady in the water. at the time, while realizing the full impact of the cliché that is ‘i see dead people,’ the sixth sense was an impressive feat in throwing the viewer for a loop. i also have friends who would consider unbreakable to be one of the top tier superhero movies; and i personally consider signs to be a nail biting thriller. the lady in the water however was the beginning of an unfortunate downfall for m night. and the happening, or the crappening as it was referred to in the theatre by a friend, has in my opinion solidified the end of m night’s career.

i do not think that i am imposing my own interests, or reading into the film ideals that are not inherent, when i say that at its core the movie is a statement about proper consideration for the environment; and for that fact alone i graciously give the crappening a one out of ten rating. but no more, as that fact alone cannot and does not warrant a film to suffer in as many ways as this has.

the first of many failures in this movie was what had to be the directors decision to have every single actor, literally, play their character without emotion. in very few instances this proved to be comedic but at the expense of the thrill we so love in m night movies. and the reason for this purposeful lack of emotion still alludes me all these hours after the films end credits. i must admit that watching this movie has left me feeling as though i have been neglected from an inside joke, and i simply do not understand what is going on. this is not to mention the utter lack of climax, which i do not believe is even worth writing about, as i have simply decided, right this moment, to erase this experience from memory.

the crappening is extremely amateurish and had me wishing for the majority of its run that the object of fright in the movie would sweep through the theatre doors, take my life, and thus end the misery that was this movie. do not waste your precious hours. its as simple as that.

for now,


the crappening

Movie Review – Shrooms

April 12, 2008

I am very happy that I snuck into this movie after watching Spiderwick.

It was utter crap. I would have been so upset if I had paid a single FILS for  this BS.  I had guessed the ‘surprise’ ending right from the middle. Ok let’s get it straight. From the name, I certainly wasn’t expecting an academy award winning performance but the story line was so shot!

I’m not wasting my time writing more about this.  If you still go to the theatres to watch this after reading this, you’re an idiot.

Mo Rating 2/10

Movie Review – The Spiderwick Chronicles

April 12, 2008

Spiderwick chronicles was a pleasant surprise to what I expected to be another Harry Pottereque gutterfilth movie translation of a classic book.

I was very pleasantly surprised.  The movie was really quite good to watch.  The ambience and feeling invoked while watching was something that I would have imagined as a child after reading an Enid Blyton book. They didn’t entirely rely on CGI to carry the movie through, but actually used it as a tool only to enhance the fantastic storyline.

I was really impressed by the whole thing, and am actually looking forward to watching upcoming franchises of the same.  The Golden Compass is another one I would love to watch, Prince Caspian – if overdone in the same way as the first one, not so much.

Mo Rating – 8/10

MJLs guest spot movie review – [rec]

April 9, 2008

the rate at which the west now hijacks movie ideas from… well… everywhere else in world is astounding (india not withstanding of course). i will prove my point with only providing a short list from memory because any research otherwise would undoubtedly unveil so many films that the server of this blog would be overwhelmed with information. so here goes; oscar winner the departed from hong kongs infernal affairs, the laughable the grudge from japans the juon, the feeble pulse from japans kairo made only years before, and so on and so forth.

a new film on the chopping block to be butchered by a remake is the topic of discussion in this my latest guest spot movie review. [rec] is an independent film made last year in spain, which received numerous awards for best acting, directing, fantasy and audience jury selection. such impressive recognition went noticed immediately and generated interest in the north american production market for a remake. with no time wasted the immaculate [rec] will be released this year under a title and with a pathetic cast that i refuse to list so as to support the original as is deserved.

loyal readers of this blog (and here i refer to the host) will recall the blank of the dead review that i wrote a short while ago. being a zombie fan i had mentioned that this film was an abhorrent addition to the impressive body of work that includes the original …of the dead films and 28 days later amongst many others. in my opinion [rec] has effectively restored the genre. one might even be inclined to say that this film has brought back to life what was once thought deceased (sorry i couldnt pass up the opportunity).

on a serious note, this film is an experience, and one that will haunt you for days after. truth be told i am unable to recall being thrilled so thoroughly as i was watching [rec] and all without the lavish budgets and name celebrities that are so mistakenly thought to be the key elements of a successful film. so in place of the rating you would normally find at the end of a review i will simply recommend that you see this film in its original spanish before the north american version leaves you demanding your time back from the universe.

for now,